Experience is what you get, when you didn’t get what you wanted.
Never argue with an idiot. They’ll try to drag you down to their level of experience.
A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt.
When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
If you're sittin’ under a dead pine tree and eatin’ candy outta’ your sock, it’d better be Christmas.
Experience is something you don't get, until just after you need it.
You only need two tools for life: WD-40 and duct tape.
If it doesn’t move and it should, use the WD-40.
If it moves and it shouldn’t, use the duct tape.