My young grandson called the other day to wish me a Happy
Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My
grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you
start at 1?"
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed
into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her
hair. As she heard the children getting more and more
rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel
around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back
to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the
three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her
own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond.
I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front
yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the
woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At
last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do
you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my
halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?''
"You're both old," he replied.
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her
grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a
story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied.
"I can't read."
I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet,
so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask
what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It
was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the
door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out
some of these, yourself!"
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we
kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting
pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in.. Noticing
them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now
the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied,
"I'm not sure." He then advised me, "Look in your underwear,
Grandpa. Mine says I'm 4 to 6."
Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public
servant," said the teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came
down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to
correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home
one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat
of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started
discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back,"
said one child. "No," said another.. "He's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the
dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he
said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just
go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take
her back to the airport."
My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you hear gas
leaks, and they blame their dog.
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